When God Tugs: Recognizing My Call to the Diaconate

“No one that I know has woken up one morning, thinking ‘Gee, I think I want to be a deacon.'” As I sat at my own ordination, the Rev. Allyson Thomas preached truth–my call to the diaconate has been a lifelong journey. 

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be of service to others. I grew up believing I wanted to be a nurse. I would tend to my dolls’ ouchies and cure imaginary illnesses. So, when I was old enough, I volunteered at the hospital, visiting and bringing water to the sick and elderly. And when they needed someone to sit with the dying, I volunteered. 

After college, I continued in the direction of service, spending many years teaching teens with intellectual disabilities. I utilized materials from Loyola Press to help the teens and their parents become more integrated in the world. I began to recognize my joy for serving my neighbor, living by example, and working alongside children, families, and teachers. 

Years passed, and as I grew in my professional career, now as a Marriage and Family Therapist, service to others became an even bigger part of my life. I still wanted to be with the dying and those experiencing bereavement. I wanted to open my heart and arms to extemporaneous prayer, to open my eyes and ears to the pain of those suffering. I hoped that someday (actually ten years later) I would do more, serve others in a different way that had not been revealed to me. 

At this time in my life, I had been away from Episcopal Church for several years, but I was feeling a strong pull–a deep-down tug–to go to the Episcopal Church in my neighborhood. I took a chance, one Saturday, I stopped by the Church’s winter bazaar. The next morning, when I returned to worship with the congregation, the familiarity came flooding back. As a long-time Episcopalian, I felt the joy of coming home.

The people were welcoming, and within two months, I was invited to join several ministries. I said, “Yes” when asked to serve as a Eucharistic Visitor, a ministry of providing the Eucharist to the sick and those unable to attend church in person. It felt like a return to serving the sick and the lonely — a calling I was beginning to recognize in myself. 

A month or two later, while sitting in my favorite pew after church, a Lay Eucharistic Minister approached me saying, “Cindy! Have you ever thought about becoming a Eucharistic Minister?”

“Why me?” I thought. Again, it felt like my heart strings were being tugged–like something was pulling at me. “What is going on?” It felt like God was taking over my life.  

On Easter morning, while serving as a LEM, distributing the cup, “The blood of Christ, the cup of salvation,” I looked out into the congregation and realized the true meaning of the Body of Christ–it’s the people, it’s us. 

While my church life continued to grow, my professional career continued to point toward serving others. I was volunteering with the psychiatric team at a local hospital, and was introduced to the hospital chaplain. She asked me, “Would you like to become part of the hospital’s spiritual care team?” It was a chance to work with palliative care. Again, I left that conversation wondering, “What does she see in me to pose that invitation?” I went home, prayed, and wondered if this was what I had been drawn toward throughout my life.

During my time volunteering in spiritual care, the love I had in serving the sick, the lonely, the elderly, the dying, praying with and for all, brought me to a new awareness. One day, as I was writing a chart note, I said to my supervisor, “Today is the first day I really want to sign my note chaplain.”

She responded, “Your church has deacons, doesn’t it?” And that was the beginning. 

I was hearing a call to ordained ministry, to serve as Jesus did, to pray with others as Jesus did, to be with all people as Jesus did, to love everyone without exception, to provide guidance and encouragement to other deacons.

Looking back, God has been calling me to the diaconate since very early in my life. It just took some people, a lifetime, and some help to realize it. 

Sometimes discipleship isn’t a book study or a bible group, but a personal choice to reflect on God and say, “Yes” to being involved. 

Why did I become a vocational deacon? God called me. I answered “Yes.”  Now, every day, I wake up thinking, “Gee, I want to be a deacon.” –knowing I will be serving as I have been called.

If you would like to find out more about the diaconate or your call to ordained ministry, please contact me at ccampos@edsd.org.